Again I don't know where this is going tonight but I felt I had to write. I went to Mass tonight, Yes, I worship in the Catholic Church, and the deacon gave the "sermon" or whatever they call it now. I found it very interesting because I felt he was right on as to what I have been feeling all week. This is the first Christmas in years where I have felt an unbelievable amount of joy and peace. You might say that I basically have it all, I have much to be thankful for. I have a wonderful family a grandson a grand baby on the way, my husband and kids are employed, I don't have to go out and work, a warm house etc. I am extremely grateful to God for providing all these things to me but it has been more than that. Since Advent began I have actually felt Christ's presence. You have to understand that I don't feel that often and every Christmas for quite a few years I have not felt that at all. I honestly don't know what has changed unless it is me. I know I won't always feel this way but I am enjoying this feeling at the moment. The deacon told us that Jesus is the reason for the joy. I have been studying a section of the psalms this year and they have made it very very clear that God is truly with us always, that he cares about everything we do, that he protects us and watches over us. What is different is that I am truly trying to take this to heart especially the Trust in Him statement. I have become frazzled several times in the past couple of weeks but I have told Him that I trust him and have truly tried to do that and I guess he honored that by filling me with joy. This is not the joy of excitement for Christmas though I am because I am expecting all the kids to come, but a peace that surpasses all understanding. As the deacon told us Joy begins with the letter J as does Jesus. Jesus and joy go together. I liked that.
I have also found a peace in having everything finished early though in the past everything was still done early and yet there was no joy. I have found great joy in going to church on Sunday. That too doesn't always happen. I want to thank my God for this joy and hope that he will give me this peace even as the house settles down and the children leave.
I sit in front of the tree in the evening and look at the manger. I think of my grandson as being the age of when the wise men probably found Jesus. I have been told that it took them several months from the moment they saw the star till the day they found him. I have had time to meditate on the shepherds that saw the star and went to that manger and saw the baby. I have thought about being one of the shepherds and how cool would that be to see that star and find a baby. If I found that baby what would I say? What would I do?
On that note, I say goodnight. More will come as the family arrives. I believe that this is meant to be a very special Christmas that will be unique. No other Christmas in this family will ever be the same with the same joy and peace as this one. Thank you Lord for this special gift.
No comments:
Post a Comment